Let Me Lift My Broken Hand
by Eternal Love Song
Summary: Izuku gets injured and tried to deal with the aftermath. [Aged Up characters, Established Relationship, Injury, Injury recovery, hurt/comfort, angst]


It was terrible waking up in the hospital afterwards. He'd know what would happen at the time, had accepted it, but it was different to look at a decision in the heat of the moment, different to accept that you needed to punch your way out of a problem when said problem was right in front of you, than it was to deal with the consequences afterwards. To look at yourself in the harsh light of day and think of all the things you surely could have done differently. To look at yourself in the mirror after too many hours of surgery and too much stress, and see that you were... less than you used to be.

Izuku clenched his fist, wiggled his fingers, felt numb inside when he realized that he couldn't do the same thing with the other hand. He could move it... kinda... If he tried hard enough, focused on nothing else, he could move it... barely. They weren't really certain that would change.

Izuku had been warned in High school that the strain of continuing to use his arms could have consequences, that was why he'd switched to using his legs exclusively. Well, not exclusively enough, if this was the result. So he was down one hand, that wasn't so bad. They hadn't had to cut it off, so there was still hope. And anyway, Izuku had known the price of using his fist and decided that he was willing to pay it. Innocent lives would always be worth more than his own.

Still, it was different to know that in an abstract sense than to stare down at his mangled hand and feel almost nothing as he tried to desperately clench and unclench his fingers.

On the way home it began to sink in further. He'd have a difficult time doing things with one hand. His hero work would mostly be the same, but not his personal life. And he'd have to find a way to tell Mina... He wasn't looking forward to that...

He listened to the messages on his phone. His mother saw the news and was worried about him, Mina was asking if they were still on for their date, Kacchan called him an idiot for not calling for backup, the usual. He sent a text to Mina telling her that she could come over. He debated telling her that he had bad news, but having her worry until evening wasn't much better than letting her find out once she arrived. In the end, he settled on adding a simple _'I got kinda banged up.'_ An understatement, but it was all he was willing to say for the moment. A compromise of a sort.

Mina sent back, _'I'll kiss it better~'_

It made him smile. It did not make it easier to figure out how to tell her.

In the end, Izuku decided to just rip the band aid off. She'd just walked in the door, barely had her coat off, when he said "I can't use my left hand anymore."

The shock and horror on her face, the way she looked so completely off guard, was worse than he was expecting it to be. Mina's coat slipped from her hand and fell to the floor. "What?" Her voice was small, her eyes looking him over for visible proof of his claim.

Izuku tried to close his fist, couldn't, wondered if she would see the twitch of his fingers for the strain it was. Wondered if his fingers had actually twitched at all.

"Izu..." Mina took a few steps forward reaching out to him, then pulling away before taking his hand. Afraid of hurting him?

He made himself smile. All Might would have smiled. Smiling was what you did when you needed to be brave. "It's alright, Mina. I knew what I was doing. I knew what could happen."

He ignored the suspicious shine to her eyes as he went to pick up her coat and hang it on the rack. God, he really needed her not to cry right now. He really needed not to cry. It was just a hand! It was fine. He would be fine. He needed to be fine. Fine meant holding it together just to prove that he could. So that later, when he had to face reporters and fans and Kacchan and his mother, and everyone else that wanted to know if he was okay, if he'd quit being a hero, what it felt like to be disabled, he could look at them smile as if he would be okay.

Izuku took a deep breath.

Mina barreled into him, arms wrapped around him tightly. She was clinging to him, he could feel the wetness slowly sinking into his shirt. "Izuku, I'm so sorry!"

He could hear her sobbing into his back, feel her shoulders shaking. He bit his lip to stop himself from crying, closed his eyes, rubbed her arm with his good hand. Izuku decided to practice, think of Mina as any other fan, as he plastered a smile on his face that she couldn't see and said, "No need to worry. This is nothing."

Maybe neither of them believed it, but his voice didn't shake and his good hand was steady.

* * *

Izuku broke a mug in the morning when he tried to hold it with his bad hand. Getting used to being functionally one handed was not an easy process. It would take more than a day or two to get used to it. It didn't stop him from staring at the broken shards on the floor as if they had punched him.

Mina, who'd opted to stay the night, jumped out of her seat. "Don't worry about that, Izuku. I'll get it."

It was a mug Ochako had gotten him last Christmas. It said 'Number 1 Hero!' He wasn't yet, but it had been to celebrate him breaking the top ten. She was sure that he was on his way to the top of the charts and wanted to be the first one congratulate him on being number one. He wondered if he'd ever get there now. His reputation would probably take a hit. Or worse, he'd get sympathy popularity.

"Here, Izu." Mina smiled, weak and sad, as she handed him a new mug, already filled with coffee. "I'll make breakfast, okay."

He took a deep breath. "Yeah, okay." He dropped into his seat heavily. "You're a life saver Mina."

* * *

Someone at the hospital sold him out. It was expected, but that didn't mean he enjoyed the flood of reporters that were swarming outside his apartment. He didn't want his mom to find out what happened from the news, but she lived an hour away and they worked fast.

Izuku was wrapped into an embrace as soon as he walked through the door. "Are you okay?" She looked him over, her eyes already watery, before pulling him into another hug. "I was so worried!"

"I'm okay, Mom."

"Good," she said. That was all. Just 'good.' Such a simple statement, filled with concern and belief in equal measures. 'Good.' And maybe it was because it was so simple, not asking him anything, not needing anything, that Izuku was able to finally let himself cry.

* * *

His relationship with Mina was not doing well. She had come over every night since the accident. It was fine at first. Izuku enjoyed the company, appreciated the help. She insisted on cooking for him every day, cleaning up whatever he broke when he forgot which hand to use, ran ahead of him trying to anticipate his needs and do whatever she could for him.

It got old fast. When she'd suggested that maybe she take some time for herself, or that she could ease up a little, she just smiled and said, "It's okay to need help."

He wasn't refusing help, though. Having her help was fine. Was great, when he wanted it. Not being allowed to do anything on his own was much different.

Izuku didn't mean to snap. His plan had been to have a calm conversation with her about it. But when he went to reach for something and she jumped up and crossed the entire room saying, "Don't worry, I'll get it!" he couldn't help himself.

"Mina, would you just stop!" he yelled.

She looked at him with wide eyes, completely caught off guard. Again. God, he needed to calm down. "What... what's wrong? What did I do?"

"Stop... trying to do everything! You don't have to,"

"I want to help you."

"I don't need you to!" Mina flinched. Izuku took a deep breath, covered his eyes with his arm as he counted to ten. "I already have the press all over me, fans asking about every time I walk the street, the one place I don't need this is in my own home."

"I don't know what you mean?" she answered quietly.

Izuku moved his arm to look at her head on. "I don't need you to pity me," he told her. "You don't have to treat me like an invalid."

"I'm not!"

"You are!" he said firmly. "And if all you're going to do is pity me, then you're no better than the fans."

Mina looked like he'd slapped her. "You don't mean that."

"I love you," he told her. "I don't want this to come between us."

Mina lowered her gaze to the floor. "It seems like it already has."

An awkward silence hung in the air. He wasn't going to take back what he said, even if he hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings. He couldn't have her pity him like everyone else, though. After a few minuted where neither of them said anything and they both avoided looking at each other, Izuku moved toward her. "Go home, Mina. Take a break. Let me try to do things on my own, please. You can come back whenever just... please?" He lifted her face with one hand, staring into her eyes. "Okay?"

Her eyes were shiny. She smiled anyway. "Okay. I'm sorry, Izu."

"I know."

He watched her leave, wondered when she'd come back.

* * *

Mina was gone for a week before she came back. She'd texted him during that time like everything was normal, for which he was grateful. He wasn't lying when he'd said he didn't want this to come between them, but he needed to look at her in the eyes and not see pity. That might be the thing that broke him when no villains could.

When she finally did come over, she brought half a dozen cupcakes and a sheepish smile. "Hey, Izu. I thought we could use a pick me up."

"Thanks, Mina." He pressed a kiss to her forward and she pulled him down for a proper kiss on the lips.

"You're welcome." She breezed past him to put the sweets on the table. Her back was still to him when she spoke. "I'm sorry about... I didn't meant it. I just... I didn't know what to do."

"I know. It's okay," he told her. And it was. It would be.

"I love you, Izu. I just... I hate watching you struggle. I wanted..." she paused, took a breath. Mina turned to face him. "I'll try to back off, just... tell me when I'm... too much?"

"Alright. Thank you, Mina."

She smiled. She reached toward him, tangled her fingers loosely with those of his bad hand, holding tight where he couldn't as she handed him a cupcake. He pressed his forehead to hers, smiled, then pulled back to take a bite.


End file.
